Category Archives: Life’s Lessons

The Dirt Road Home

11 Sunday Jun 2017

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I’m at home and winding down with my glass of red wine after a Canadian going away party that gave me a gift I wasn’t expecting.

You always think … “I hope I meet someone fun … or, I hope it’s a good group of peeps” … or maybe I’m the only one that thinks that and if so, then maybe be careful if you invite me to your party in the future for fear of my expectations .. LOL.

But alas, my honest self is here to reveal that those expectations are always on my mind … The hope that I will meet someone or I learn something that I can apply in my life and become a better person in some small way.

So tonight …. I’m happy to say that the evening exceeded my expectations. And sometimes my expectations are high (which don’t judge me, it isn’t a bad thing) … but sometimes they truly are as grass roots as the farm that I grew up on.

high level 2017

This is today’s view from the road to my “home” where I grew up and where I learnt so many lessons that I’m still applying to my life today.

Why?

Well tonight I met someone who grew up similar to me … on a farm … who made it from nowhere to somewhere … and who now looks at life from the same viewpoint as me.   Yes, one side is capitalism …. no shame there, but also from a perspective of purpose, planet and people.  And, my God, it was refreshing.  Just the whole conversation and perspective blew my mind and inspired my thinking.

And yet I can’t help but find it fascinating that you can meet someone at a party for people that you know (relatively) very little, and you can connect with a random stranger in a profound way, even though you’re from completely (and I mean completely) different subsets of the world.  But (and here’s the good part) with a glass of wine (or two) and LOADS of curiosity … you can uncover that your simplistic upbringing has created a similar mindset and belief system that, unbeknownst to you, is probably a reason why you’re sitting across from each other talking about a subject that would bore the rest of the guests in attendance.

But for me … what I loved, is that I could talk for hours and feel so grateful for the random encounter that somehow, now, seemed perfectly curated.

Because no matter if you’re 33 … or 46 … married with two kids … or twice married and no kids … from East Germany or Northern Alberta … Communist or Capitalist …. it is really amazing how much we can feel and learn and appreciate in a short period of time, and with absolutely no reason whatsoever, feel an amazing bond of energy that lifts your soul and makes you take a pause in life … if only for a moment.

And the icing on the cake is when you can share a story about the long road “home” … that only had two left turns after 5,6, 8 hours of driving …. before you reached a vast farmland that seemed to offer so little, but in the end gave you everything you needed in life …. then I’ll call that a hell of a win for a Saturday night.

Beyond grateful … for where I grew up … and for where I am today.

Thank you, Ellie and Chris, for the invitation to celebrate your return to Canada.

Standing Beside Integrity

01 Thursday Dec 2016

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integrity or ethics concept

I am sure that I am not alone when I say that I’ve experienced my share of heartbreak, both personally and professionally.

While we might call it by another name in business, the impact and result is very similar – hurt, anger, maybe even shame, or the feeling of being treated unfairly and not having a voice to stand up for you. Pretty hard stuff to get through when it happens.

What’s even more difficult is hearing “well, maybe it was the best thing to happen to you”.  Ugh. really? Who wants to hear that?  Or, is it a belief that we should embrace and believe to move on unscathed?

I’ve recently heard from friends, colleagues and people that I’ve met for the first time, of their experiences of being severely let down; “creative differences”; and heartbreak that left them standing alone to figure out what’s next. My heart goes out to them, but more importantly I want to pass along my strength. I have all the time in the world to listen to the pain — or shock — or anger, and be there as they get through it the only way they know how. And I hope they will apply the Pay it Forward model when their time comes to listen. After all, chances are we’re going to experience something similar in our lifetime, and probably more than once.

One of the best things that we can all do during this time is live with integrity. I believe we need to do this regardless if we end up swimming in the same swimming pool, share DNA, or have to encounter the situation on a regular basis. We also have to remember to not let it take all the goodness out of us.

We can’t stop trusting. We can’t stop ourselves from falling in love. We shouldn’t ever stop dreaming.

We just have to do it with a little more wisdom and maybe a little more cautious optimism.

Years back I let someone else’s lack of integrity disrupt my world. Interrupt my passion. Stop my path to success.  And it really sucked. For a long time.  It took years of unhappiness, relentless pursuit of something that I couldn’t quite define (and therefore attract), and I built a running commentary in my brain that “I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t deserve to find and live my passion again”.

And then I did find it! And I lived it!

And then it happened again.

Wait, what? Again?  Hum … Like I said before .. we’ll probably all suffer pain way more than once in our lifetime.

The difference is that I learnt the only way to get back on my feet was through the pain. Through the shame. Through the disappointment. Through the running commentary in my head that I wasn’t good enough — until I arrived at the point that I believed I was good enough. Because we ALL are good enough … and MORE.

Everyone close to me – and even those not – told me that giving up was not an option. Moving forward was the only path. And I had to go through all of the messiness in order to find a clear path. And I had to do it with my integrity in tact. I had to trust that it was the only way for me to move past it and continue on my own path to greatness.

The other day I heard ‘there are three sides to every story’. And I guess that is the truth. But deep down, we know what’s right and what isn’t. If it’s not obvious on the onset, then it becomes clear and sometimes it’s that moment that can really define who you are as a human being.

And just the other day a friend told me that she received an apology from a girl that bullied when she was a kid. And you know … 30 years later, it helps. It heals.

So whatever side you’re on when it comes to hurt, disappointment, failure … Live with integrity. While the ‘best thing to happen to you’ is sometimes a long game … there is truth to it.

integrity-002

in·teg·ri·ty 

inˈteɡrədē/

noun

the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

 

Authenticity

04 Thursday Aug 2016

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I recently read that authenticity is “the choice to let our true selves be seen”.

Hum ….

Good thing? Bad thing?

I read in a blog post that authenticity essentially equates to brutal honesty .. like the total unfiltered kind. Like, “hey, I saw your new baby and he isn’t so cute” kind of “authenticity“.  That is NOT what I’m writing about today.

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I’m writing about being the best version of yourself, authentic. Being the kind of person that people aspire to be like.  The way you wish you were after you say something stupid and realize that it hurt someone in a way you didn’t intend.

Authenticity that encompasses caring and concern … and when that happens without it benefiting yourself. Just being human. Being kind. Giving for the sake of giving. Knowing that, of course, sometimes you’ll get rewarded for your kindness, but not doing it BECAUSE of the reward.

It’s a lofty ask.  I meet very few people that probably fit the bill. And honestly, I’m not sure I’m always that person myself. But I think about it all.of.the.time. Because it’s sort of my north star I believe. And my stomach turns upside down when I meet someone who shows me they are just in it for themselves. Yuck.

True story. A few years back I was at an event and there were some pretty “important” people.  I was a “nobody” and I felt it, but I held my head high and worked the room – being myself – showing interest in others — because I’m genuinely curious about other people and who they are – but no doubt, I didn’t “fit in”.

So this is how it went … I’d meet someone – they’d look at my name tag (and my company) and quickly decide whether I was worth engaging with or not … whether I was somebody important to them — meaningful — helpful — you get the drift.  More often than not – I was not deemed high enough on their value table and they quickly found somewhere else to be. It was humiliating but I’m a big girl and recognized it’s part of the real world – part of the business world.  Sigh.

During that evening I spent, I don’t know, probably 30 minutes talking to one guy about his Burning Man experience. Others came into the conversation. There were iPhone photos shared. I asked many questions. People laughed and we had a nice chat. I had no idea who the guy was.  I showed my honest enthusiasm to learn more about him, or others that came into the conversation and nothing more.  And when the evening ended and I went back home, I reached out on LinkedIn to the people that I met (and actually met / had conversations with and where I felt comfortable that we had connected) — because that is what we do – we extend an invitation and say how great it was to connect …  And you can guess the results. …. Crickets.

Fast forward about six months and I’m applying for the job to run the organization that held the event. I know, seriously, right? Well, that story is for another blog post.  Anyway …  I’m about to meet the person that I had the 30-minute conversation with … for an interview! Do you think he remembered me?  … yeah, no.

Even better … once I got the job (and yes, I did get the job) … I spent the next few years going to events where every time I met someone, it was like my wedding .. “Oh … SO great to meet you!! How wonderful … blah blah blah”.  Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to judge or criticize (at least not opening in my blog post LOL) … because those were people trying to be nice.  And I do appreciate that they were being .. well, nice.  I know most were being authentic.  But what I never forgot is that their enthusiasm was all because of my title and not because of who I was as a person.

Maybe I’m living in a fantasy world because I want people to see me … and I don’t know, maybe I’m okay with living with that as my fantasy.  True, people disappoint me all of the time because I want to see the goodness in people first and it’s often not always there … but I don’t want to lose faith and go through life with a glass half full approach … or worse, feeling like people are self serving and nothing more. So I’ll take the hits. I’ll wear the battle scars with pride. I’ll keep on wishing and wanting and hoping and dreaming … Because when I meet someone, I know that I am curious about who they are … not what they can do for me.  And when I go to sleep at night, I’m grateful for the people in my life that know the difference.

 

 

 

 

My Tribe

27 Monday Jun 2016

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A few years ago I read an article in a running magazine about the concept of a “Tribe”.  As soon as I read the words, they resonated … and I smiled knowing that I understood.

Tribe

Like anything in life, we can take a concept and create whatever we want from it. For me .. the concept of a Tribe has always been an evolution.  A decade ago I was introduced to the mindset of a personal “Board of Directors” …which I applied for many years until I read about the concept of a Tribe, which I liked much better than Board of Directors —- because it implied people are there beside you versus there above you.

So what … who … is a Tribe? 

Sometimes … your Tribe is your group of childhood friends that remember you as the geeky, not-so-polished, perhaps a little awkward kid … who wanted to hang out with you because he/she was just as geeky, with as much room for improvement as you!

Sometimes … your Tribe is a group of people that share your passion – for the things you love and support  … be it a sports team, a political movement or a personal commitment to a cause that extends beyond your individual capacity to make a difference.

Sometimes .. your Tribe is your morning run group … the men and women that are there at “O’dark hundred hours”, who keep you company as you wake up and face your greatest fears … or celebrate your smallest of successes.

Sometimes … your Tribe is simply your friend(s) that have your back. Period. They are there for you no matter what —- and they call, and text, and they show up like no one else ever could. Now those are good people.

Sometimes …  your Tribe can be a surprise — A person that you just met, that you share an amazing connection with and have endless amounts of things in common … Or it could be a new idea that takes shape and leads you into directions you didn’t know existed.   It could simply be something that thing makes you go …  huh?! … I like that … I want to be a part of that … I want to shape that … Perhaps I want to lead it.  Or maybe following is perfect too – but I want to make sure I’m not missing it!!

I believe your TRIBE is exactly what — and who — and how you want it to be … you might have to go looking for it … or it might fall into your lap. Either way works …. beautifully.

We can do a lot on our own, but with a Tribe, we are unstoppable.

Thanks to my Tribe. The concept is a growing evolution but you are all a constant rock of stability in my life. >> You all know who you are. 

Who is your TRIBE?

behind every successful women Tribe

 

 

The Art of Giving too Much

02 Thursday Jun 2016

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It’s been awhile since I added a blog post. It hasn’t been for lack of events or excitement or disappointment … quite the opposite. It’s been because of all of those things that life has kept me busy and experiences have kept me humble.

But now … it’s time to write … about giving.

to do more for the world

I’m a big fan. Like huge!! Those that know me well, know that I can give.  And I give without conditions – it’s what my mom and dad both taught me.  But giving without conditions doesn’t mean that we don’t give and feel disappointment. And giving doesn’t mean that we’re perfect or that we meet the expectations of others.  But it does mean we have the capacity to give and that we use that capacity for good.

Today though, instead of just gripping about how much I gave and how poorly I feel I was treated in return … I’m going to give some suggestions for how you (and me!!) can do the former without receiving the latter.

  1. Let’s lower our expectations people … seriously – if we just take a moment to really analyze the situation and ask ourselves what is really possible (what can the other person / entity give, why would they be so inclined, what’s in it for them) … then we will understand the more realistic feeling we’ll receive, if for example, we severely miscalculate how much we should have given.
  2. Benefit / cost analysis … well, they do it in business school, why can’t it apply to real life??   Had I done this six months ago I might have seen that the potential costs would far outweigh the benefits and maybe (and only maybe, let’s me honest) .. smarter thoughts would have prevailed. And if not – then at least I would have given myself a fighting chance to duck out before diving in.
  3. Everyone else is not you … we give because we have empathy … excitement … trust … vision. But everyone else doesn’t necessarily view it from the same lens.  So you have to get on the same page — (which has the added benefit of highlighting the disparity – but that is good because it’s best to make an informed mistake than be blindsided and lose all faith).
  4. Listen to your friends … You rely on them for a reason!!  You call and text when life is good AND when it isn’t — precisely because you trust them. So trust them to see more clearly than you and then do exactly what they say — because in that moment – they are seriously 1000x smarter than you.

you will never regret being kind

After all is said and done … I have no regrets. I can stand tall and be proud of what I gave. If people choose to not show respect or have appreciation … if they are so caught up in what is most important to them – and they lack empathy and the “doing the right thing” gene … then there isn’t anything I can do.

Now, karma might have another say in the story – and I’ll be okay with that. 🙂

 

suddenly you know

 

 

My Life Plan

09 Sunday Aug 2015

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Recently I had the pleasure of spending time with some really cool people … some really accomplished people … and some really humble people.  I felt out of my league for most of the time … confidently in charge for some of the time  … and perfectly at home for one brief moment.

That moment was when I heard about one person’s “Life Plan” …. And by Life Plan, I don’t mean this airy fairy, like I really want to be “x” or accomplish “y” … but an actual Life Plan that has been detailed out (and followed!) for 30 years. Yep. Thirty – 30 – years.

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Now, I start a lot of things. And I mean, A.LOT! … Especially at the beginning of the year. I LOVE planning … But I have learned (and I’m not bragging about this in any way) … but I have learned that I am better at planning than at following through.

That sucks, right?!?!

Yep. It does. But then again, “realizing you have a problem is the first step” right? Well, at least that is what “they” say .. And right now, I am going to agree w/ that principle because it means I might have some hope after all.

So I started to write.

Write down the things I wanted to accomplish — To be known for — To experience — And I started thinking about the moments — and the memories — and yes, I even went so far as to think about what would be positively life altering — because I think I actually want something WAY more than what I have!

And I realized that while I initially thought that planning your life with a graph, and dot’s, and lines, year after year … month after month … and quite possibly week after week, might be a little obsessive (and yes, actually it really might be obsessive) … nonetheless, I realized that it is probably one really good way to make sure that you accomplish those goals – those dreams – those ambitions that make you smile and put in that little extra effort needed.

Oh, and I also realized that I really didn’t want to get to the end of my life and wish that I had done more with it. Because that makes me feel sad today – never mind how I will feel once my life really is over and all those years have passed by without a focus on what my heart really wants to experience.

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While I actually expect this little exercise to be quite hard … because c’mon … it’s so easy to dream and so much harder to put the effort into making it a reality … there are enough things happening in my life that tell me it’s worth every ounce of effort I can possibly find. Because I’ve always said – I want to live the length — and width — of my life.

So maybe with this new Life Plan … I will make that a reality.

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Thanks to the universe for the moment and experience that brought up this conversation. Dare I say thank goodness for girl fires, country music, wine (of course!), motor off and moonlit night … and new, but albeit, uncomfortable situations.

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#BeerWithJesus #TakeYourTime

One Year Ago

22 Friday May 2015

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One year ago … there I was, boarding Caltrain on a seemingly uneventful Thursday afternoon … a serendipitous encounter created all because of my home town.

butterflies

Thank goodness I tell everyone where I am from so that people (specifically, those that are intrigued by that point of reference) recognize the name while attending a trade show of absolute no connection to me whatsoever. 

But … I digress.

One year ago … I was running on one of my favorite Bay Area trails … thankful to be in better shape than the first time I showed my running buddy the route. I was content with the conversation as two strangers caught up on the few months that had passed since meeting over coffee.

And one year ago … I was about to embark on the most exciting journey of my life. I knew it was possible but the real beauty is that I didn’t even have a clue as to what was ahead.

A lot happens in a year …

… friends find lovers.  They move away.  They learn they will become first-time parents. And you find new ways to stay connected across time zones and course adjustments.

… family members go through ups and downs.  Sometimes one step forward and two steps back, but never ever complaining. Always grateful for the one step of progress.

… strangers become someone you can’t wait to speak with every day … whom you look forward to exploring new adventures with … where you uncover fun that you realize has been missing in you life … and oddly enough, who can break your heart when you didn’t realize it was strong enough to be invited to the party!!

… and work can turn into your passion.  It can consume your life. Bring life to your life!  And at the same time, take away hours and days without you realizing anything has happened.

do what you love

But today is the real reason to reflect on One Year Ago … because today is when I remember the 365 days that have just passed and all the moments that have made me strong.  Oh … it hasn’t been the “best year of my life” … but it’s a far, far cry from being the worst one.  I am reminded that “life”, with all of its challenges and struggles, really does help us prepare for the untold story, and it gives us the courage to reach higher and look ahead (and of course, always tell people where you are from).

I will always be a work in progress … but because of those amazing … and crazy … and sometimes overwhelming … and “I’m about to break” moments … I am better prepared today, for tomorrow, because of one year ago.

love today

 

#HighLevel girl

Radical Generosity

09 Monday Feb 2015

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I was so, so, so fortunate to be in the presence of some really amazing women a couple weeks back while visiting Toronto. Vicki hosted this group at her home (that would rival any 4 star restaurant in San Francisco!) for an evening of connection amongst amazing women entrepreneurs, vc’s, and other superb women in tech … plus little ole me. Thank you Vicki ~ I am in awe and with HUGE appreciation!

During this evening Vicki describes what she prescribes to — Radical Generosity … and she encouraged us all to consider following in her footsteps. Now, true to many women, and many Canadians, she practically apologized for saying out loud that she was practicing the art of radical generosity … which she shouldn’t … but I get it. Humility is a feature and it’s one we can’t shed (nor often should).

But the message came across without any feeling of ego or princess-likeness … It was simply her, from the heart, with what she believed in. And I was simply blown away because I loved being in the presence of that kind of giving and that kind of collaboration.

Even though I am both a woman, and a Canadian, and hopefully often display way more acts of kindness and humility than not, it still inspired me to really consider this statement and see what else I could be doing to be an owner of radical generosity.

For many reasons this resonated with me … history aside and the way my parents raised me .. which has everything to do with who I am … I believe in it because I.don’t.see.it.in.this.world.enough!! I am out there everyday connecting with new work colleagues, new personal relationships, past relationships on all fronts … and there is a huge gap on this planet (or at least where my latitude and longitude reside) … and it makes me, well, want to write a blog post!

Giving costs you nothing. It’s a smile sometimes. It’s a name of someone who can help with a problem. It’s a guide to a new trail run. It’s the courtesy of being honest. It’s the little note that says “you’re fucking awesome”. It’s the 3pm Sunday afternoon birthday happy hour. It’s the special invitation to new years eve. It’s the thoughtful text message after receiving an “I’m sorry” card. It’s the 40 miles you’ll drive to say hello … give a hug … see a smile. Hell, it’s the 3,000 miles you’ll do for that. It’s the text message that says “hey bud, you’re amazing – have a great day”. It’s remembering who your friends were before illness and before life’s inevitable challenges and sending an invitation to join in for the party just the same. It’s no judgement!  It’s just really simple and it really, truly, costs you nothing for what you get in return.

I’m not sure why life gets so complicated. But I know that if we live within the world that we are meant to live within .. the world is not complicated … it makes perfect sense. So maybe we should really focus on radical generosity, but when it isn’t reciprocated, then we can’t take any offense and instead we move on. Maybe we taught the person something. Maybe not. That is never the point. The point is to give away that which we have, and to do it with a smile and without expectations in return.

Radical generosity. It’s my new motto. It will make the tagline on my next business card. Those that have seen mine know what I’m talking about. But it’s what I believe in and will happily deliver.

And for the person that felt that my world is too complicated because my generosity was in the middle, instead of driving to their world entirely, … then I’m sorry, but you haven’t learned the lesson.

And as a tribute to you, Vicki, for the inspiration of this post … here is a little quote someone shared with me awhile back. You’ll get the meaning as it is your motto … Cheers to you for paving the way! #SheCEO!!

ceo

The Art of {not} Letting Go

25 Sunday Jan 2015

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Sometimes I write about things not because I have the answers, but because I seek them.

I consider myself a fairly smart person … I seem to make my way in life okay but I won’t ever win Monday’s trivia night (unless it’s about Canada, country music or the 1984 Oilers, and even then I will get a few things wrong) … But when it comes to some of life’s most basic decisions … I sometimes am such a dork and I fail miserably. I can very easily tell you what is in front of me, and why it/he will not work for me, but yet I’ll go against every grain of intelligence on the subject and go in the other direction. It’s a mildly entertaining thing on one hand, and frustrating as hell on the other hand.

I ask myself everyday .. is it time to let go? Time to move on? Am I ready to move in another direction entirely? Am I capable? Or am I still here with the thoughts and the hopes because I haven’t learned the lesson? Is there some other reason why I’m not moving forward .. moving on.  And why is it so hard to figure out {again, I go back to the fact that I’m probably smarter than the average bear but that doesn’t seem to help me much}.

I try all kinds of tricks … I write in journals … someone says “write him a letter and then burn it” … ha, yeah well that didn’t work out so well! Funny story actually but that’s for another blog.  Then someone else advises to focus on your work – “you’re always saying that work is overwhelming so focus there”. Nope … I have mountains of work to do and I do focus on it, but funny how thoughts of him come into every moment regardless how busy I am. And then there is the “just forget about him and move on”.  I mean, I get it … I probably give similar advice in a variety of circumstances but the actual doing part .. well, that is what is impossible at times.

So I’ve decided that I’m not going to let go. I’m going to just be with the feelings … and let them envelope my entire body.  Whether that gives me comfort or brings me pain, I’ll appreciate that at least I’m experiencing an expression of love. Not everyone gets to experience heartache and for those of us that do, maybe it should be embraced. I stole the famous line before “we are here to be swallowed up” … so why should I fight it.

I trust the universe will tell me when I’m ready to move on. And with that I mean that I trust myself to figure it out … maybe it will be tomorrow .. maybe another month from now … maybe longer.  But I receive comfort knowing that one day, I’ll experience love and friendship and laughter and understanding from someone who won’t break my heart and instead want to hold my hand.

#TakeYourTime … for a love like that – full of excitement and challenge, because even though I feel a great opportunity has eluded me, I do believe that it will come again, and it’s worth waiting for.

snoopy

Xmas Cards … Really?

13 Saturday Dec 2014

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Every year … around this time … it begins to happen. Christmas cards begin to arrive in the mailbox. People display them on their mantle. They fret over the fact that they haven’t gotten to theirs yet. They feel guilt that they received one from someone and they didn’t get one off to them yet .. or did they? More panic.

Well every year I generally tend to be one of those people – lost in the mix of guilt and shame but masking over it with the “I’m too busy” message. People usually believe me as it’s become a common excuse that the world tends to accept, because let’s face it – we are the busiest society we’ve ever seen.

But I am going to challenge that statement tonight and even refute what I myself have been saying for all these years because it’s absolutely not about the busy .. it’s about the interest.

I named this blog Being Superwoman for exactly the kind of person that sends Christmas cards. The person that is SO busy, who functions at such a high level … yet still amazes those around them with the thoughtful Christmas card and personal note. How do they have the time? Did someone else write if for them? This can’t be true because then I’ll feel more guilt because I’m definitely not as busy as he/she and yet I’m staring at a really nice thoughtful card from them, personalized for me. Huh?!?

So today I figured it out. It’s something I’ve always known, especially because it’s a trait (flaw) I carry .. and that is, when something is important to you .. or you’re interested in it … passionate about it … excited for it … or maybe just really happy in general — things like Christmas cards become exactly what you can do! They don’t seem overwhelming. They don’t seem like a challenge. They are something that you are very excited to do because you know it will bring you joy.

So don’t worry if you’re not excited about doing Christmas cards this year. It’s okay. Really, they are quite frankly overrated in so many ways. …  But maybe, just maybe, it’s time for you look at what is motivating you and where you’d like to spend your time. If it’s not Christmas cards .. then where are you excited to spend the little bits of time that you get to call your own?